


The Sky Wept Stars

by RainaParker



Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:22:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 15,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22037755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainaParker/pseuds/RainaParker
Summary: The low howl from Cerberus was his first indication that nothing was right. Staggering down the darkened alleyway and leaning on the brick wall for support he tried his comms again.
Comments: 113
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is for floopdeedoopdee who kindly requested it. The title is from the book A long way Gone by Ishmael Beah. Crossposted on FF

The low howl from Cerberus was his first indication that nothing was right. Staggering down the darkened alleyway and leaning on the brick wall for support he tried his comms again. "Bravo 7 to all Bravo call signs come in?" He waited a minute which felt like hours before taking a jagged breath and trying again "Bravo 7 to any Bravo element or Havoc base... come in?" The words leaving his mouth were beginning to sound desperate and questioning.

The howl sounded pained. A whimper mixed with a whine. It was a sound he hadn't heard before from the canine and for a split second he wasn't sure it was Cerberus. But then he was sure. The dog was laying on his side tucked into a doorframe. The blood on his coat seemed to be too much for the seventy pound dog.

The light rain must be making it seem like more was his first thought, his second was that Cerb didn't wear boots. Below the blood covered malinois were unmoving legs... human legs. Rushing forward as fast as he could Vic was met with the low growl of a military working dog.

Switching on the strobe on his helmet as a last resort Vic started whispering to himself and the dog. "Cerb is a good boy. Just guarding Brock. I know boy but he's hurt and I wanna help him. Are you hurt too boy?" Vic inched closer hoping Cerb would start to recognize him and not attack but as the dog bared his teeth he prayed that Havoc base would recieve the strobe as a distress call.

Hunched in his heels he continued to try and reason with the dog for what felt like years before the noticed the crackle of comms and realized Brock's were still working, not that he had access to them, or that Brock could respond. He could faintly hear the calls from Havoc and Bravo above the low growling of Cerberus and his own panic. Wondering if his brother was breathing from 5 feet away was beginning to drive him slowly insane.

The only thing Vic could do now was try to calm the dog and pray another member of his team would find them soon. For an instant he considered just shooting Cerberus but the look of fear in the dog's eyes stopped him immediately as he raised his glock. While not human Cerberus was a team member and as desperate as he was to save Brock he knew that the man would never forgive the act. "Please, Cerberus, please let me help him."

As time ticked by Vic began to contemplate whether he was sitting by watching his brother die for the sake of a dog, but maybe Brock was already gone and he was just sitting with a dying dog instead. This thought was his catalyst to action. Even if Brock was already gone his radio was functional and he couldn't abandon the body... because eventually the injured dog would die as well and then both their bodies would be tools for propaganda.

Reaching into his leg pouch Vic found the syringe of morphine. He wished like hell he knew how much to give Cerb but figured about half would knock the dog out without stopping his respirations. He removed the cap and in once movement surged forward and plunged the syringe into Cerb's left hindquarter. As he depressed the medication the dog swung around teeth reaching forward before collapsing back to his previous position.

"I know Boy. I'm sorry buddy." Vic reached his hand forward slowly caressing the good boy's face as a morphine induced haze overtook him.

Once he was sure the dog was thoroughly sedated he pulled him from Brock's lap. Reached forward he felt for a pulse and found a faint one. Vic leaned forward putting his head to Brock's chest. His brother wasn't breathing.

The only place to lay Brock flat was unfortunately in the alley. Unprotected, unguarded, with no sign of help coming Vic pulled at his vest straps until he could lay him next to Cerb. Leaning forward he pinched Brock's nose closed as he tilted his head back and administered a rescue breath. Reaching a hand out he felt Cerb's chest rise as the dog continued to breathe as well. With each breath administered he prayed help would come sooner rather than later. Moving Brock and continuing to breath for him while alone would be impossible. After every third breath he rechecked that his brother's heart was still beating. And it was. Breath after breath it was... until it wasn't.

The stillness under his fingers made him feel as though he was falling, a weight pushing down on him, into hell. Arms straight he started chest compressions. Pumping as hard and fast as he could he thought of a book he had read not that long ago in high school. He could quite remember the quote in it's entirety but he remembered it being about the sky crying. As his breath caught in his own throat tears filled his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

As he pumped on his brother's chest the quote came back in full. “Some nights the sky wept stars that quickly floated and disappeared into the darkness before our wishes could meet them.” The pounding within his own chest made him wonder if his own heart would escape if Brock's didn't start beating again. 

The crack of ribs beneath his hands echoed the crackles of the radio he had forgotten and now couldn't use while exhausting himself with resuscitation efforts. Sweat ran into his eyes while he thought about stars vanishing in the nightime sky. His wishes for Brock's life never reaching them. 

Somewhere deep inside he knew if help didn't reach them soon it would be over for his brother. His arms were tingling and felt limp as he struggled to keep them straight. Please hurry, the stars are going away now. The darkness that was surrounding them felt heavy. The alley more norrow than it had been. 

He wasn't sure how much time had passed as he forced himself to maintain compressions. It felt like days. The light rain and his own sweat soaked his clothing. Logically he knew it hadn't been as long as it felt but Cerb's low whine as the morphine left his system made him question if Brock had been down too long to survive or be Brock again. 

Breathing more heavily than if he were running hills he wanted to scream but didn't have the breath or strength left to do so. Cerberus was trying to inch closer but was still affected by whatever injury he had and the morphine Vic had been forced to give him. He was laying on his side moving his paws while simultaneously attempting to lift his head. Slowly he was making progress but his head wobbled and repeatedly hit the cobblestone of the alley. 

Vic watched the dog in his peripheral vision while clinging to the hope that their brothers knew how dire their arrival was needed. Vic felt like he might collapse from the exertion but pressed on. He was Brock's only hope until Trent arrived, until anyone arrived. His hands slid down Brock's bare chest causing him to have to stop and reposition them. Damn rain he thought to himself before realizing it was more likely his brother's blood that was the issue. He shifted and again his hands slipped. Moving again he threw his right leg over Brock's hips. Straddling his brother he restarted CPR this time with more leverage. His hands stilled only to recheck for a pulse which he felt like he would never again find. And then he continued. Tilting his head slightly upward he allowed the rain the hit his face and stared toward where the stars should be. He knew it was the cloud cover but he wondered if maybe the stars had vanished altogether. If they simply ceased to exist. 

Numbness overtook him as he straddled Brock and forced his elbows into a locked position. The rain was harder now and he wasn't sure if the light he saw was lightning or the flicker of a flashlight. He hoped that light meant his brothers were near.

"Eagle, EAGLE, Eagle!" Vic wanted to crumple but instead continued forcing his body up and down. Finally he felt hands on his shoulders pulling him back. He wondered if they had asked him to move but then realized he didn't seem to hear anything other than his own panting and the thud of his heartbeat. 

Kneeling on his heels he watched as Trent restarted compressions and Ray dug a syringe from the med bag. Sonny was kneeling beside Cerb while Clay rendered first aide to the dog. The dog... the morphine. He needed to find the words to tell them but everything was spinning. Full Metal looked at him and motioned with his head. Jason stepped closer squatting down in front of him. 

"Hey we're here. It's okay now." Vic felt limp and also slightly nauseous. 

"Gave Cerb half a syringe of morphine." Jason looked confused as he relayed the information to Clay. 

"Is Brock dead?" His voice wavered and he could feel himself sway slightly.

"Trent, sit-rep?" Jason shifted to watch as Trent bent over Brock with a stethoscope pressed to his chest. 

"We move in five." Trent's gruff response did little to alleviate the panic.

If he spent the rest of his life trying to recall the trek to exfil it would never come back. The only things he was certain of were that Clay carried Cerberus and Sonny and Ray carried Brock. Jason may have helped him toward the helo but he wasn't certain. 

Glancing to Brock he was overwhelmed with the events of the alley. Cerberus whined at him and his hand reached for the dog thankful he had lowered his glock. His memories were flashes, the last one was as they exited the forest on the opposite side of the small city the clouds had opened. As the helos lifted from the ground and his body went limp he looked out into the night sky and watched the twinkle of what must have been every star in the night's sky.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chaper takes a turn I'm not entirely sure people will enjoy but it is basically where I had planned to take it from the beginning. Please let me know what you think?

One week earlier

"I'm not trying to be argumentative but you will be sending Bravo to their deaths on this intel." Mandy's voice rose to just below a yell. 

"Bravo... that's the problem? If this were another team it would be an acceptable risk? Am I correct Ellis?" The words from her boss stung even if untrue.

"No." The word came through gritted teeth. "That is not correct at all. In fact Bravo being the best just proves my point. You are going to get men killed!" Her voice was no longer below a yell as the rest of room fell silent and all eyes landed on her. 

"That's enough Ellis. Go home. Take a couple weeks. Get some perspective." His words were stern and left no room for a response. 

Sitting at her desk fifteen minutes later Mandy was reviewing all possible intel on the operation when both her boss and security joined her. "Two weeks Ellis. You need a break." Nodding she grabbed the few personal items she would want before exiting the building escorted by a very apologetic security agent. 

Present time.

And that was how Mandy found herself at home cooking scrambled eggs at 4 in the afternoon. Her hair was up in a messy bun from a bath that was supposed to relax her but instead annoyed her. Down time wasn't something she thought she would ever enjoy. 

The ringing of her phone startled her enough that she realized she hadn't spoken to anyone other than the girl at the corner market all week. "Hello?" She hadn't meant for it to sound so much like a question. 

"Hello I'm looking for a Ms. Amanda Ellis, is this she?" Mandy knew the difference between a sales call and this call from a military member and dread filled her heart in an instant. 

"It is." She moved back to the kitchen and turned off the burner cooking her eggs. 

"Ms. Ellis I regret to inform you that Special Warfare Officer First Class Reynolds has been injured in combat. He is currently enroute to the U.S. and will arrive in approximately one hour. Ms. Ellis are you there?"

"Yes... I'm just confused as to why you are notifying me." Mandy thought of the friendship she and Brock had formed in the last several months but doubted she warranted this phone call. 

"Ms. Ellis you are listed as his primary next of kin. Is that not accurate?" 

"No of course it is." Mandy exhaled the breath she had been holding and grabbed her sneakers. "Is his team with him?"

"I'm very sorry I have no information of anyone else injured or killed in action." 

And there it was. Mandy felt as though she were walking through water as she left her apartment and sat in the car finishing the call. Brock was coming home injured enough for the notification of his next of kin and most likely the rest of Bravo had died. 

As the thoughts swirled in her mind she questioned whether her job was worth this loss. She felt sick wondering if the notification team was currently at the Perry home waiting for the casualty assistance officer to assist Naima with the next steps in this nightmare process. She turned away from the hospital knowing she had time to drive past the homes of Bravo and their loved ones before Brock's arrival. Circling Va Beach she took comfort in the lack of distress that seemed to indicate their safety. 

Once in the hospital she was directed to a waiting room and told she would be informed upon his arrival but that it could be hours until she would actually see him depending on his condition. So she sat. It wasn't until now that she realized she what she was wearing. Leggings, sneakers with no socks, a blue flannel shirt he'd left in her car and she had intended to wash and return. The shirt had somehow made it's way into the rotation of comfortable clothing she wore at home. Her hair wasn't brushed. Suddenly she felt very vulnerable in a way that she hadn't expected. The thought of not drinking coffee and eating pie with him again made tears prick the corners of her eyes. She wondered for a second if it had been Clay or Sonny if she would feel the same way but knew she wouldn't.

The waiting room walls were painted a soft yellow that reminded her of elevator music. The intention to calm those it contained backfiring. It was hour seven of her wait and this purgatory of a room only served to inform her of how badly the last month had gone. 

The intel was never solid. Her boss wouldn't listen and instead had benched her. She might never eat pie again. 

"Ms. Ellis?" Her bloodshot eyes looked to the nurse grateful it wasn't a doctor to tell her it was over. "I can take you to him but you should know he is sedated and on a ventilator. The doctors will try to remove it in a few days when he is stronger. He'll be in to explain everything more later." Mandy was following her down the hallway toward the ICU and trying to comprehend all the information she was being given but her brain felt muddled in an uncharacteristic way.

Pushing the sliding door open Mandy stepped inside the very sterile smelling room. The whosing sound of the ventilator and the continuous beep of a heart monitor were the only signs of life within the room. His dark curls were matted to his scalp. The scraps and bruising covered most of him and the skin that wasn't marred with trauma looked more pale than hers. 

Taking a step forward she allowed the door to slide shut behind her. The one chair in the room was at the foot of his bed to keep it from obstructing his care. She gently moved it closer and sat beside him. Reaching out she took hold of his limp left hand and held it tightly. 

"I'm here now. I'm here." A tear slipped from her eye and she allowed herself to fall. To fall apart for the first time in what felt like forever. To fall to pieces as she imagined a life without his friendship. To realize she had fallen in love.


	4. Chapter 4

The constant activity of the ICU seemed far from them as she sat with him. Insulated within the small room it seemed he was the only other person for miles. The only interuption was the occasional nurse checking his vitals and changing IV bags. She talked of coffee after ops and getting a slice of her favorite strawberry rhubarb pie but he didn't respond. Heavily sedated to allow healing he slept and she spoke of the last ten months. It was a year ago she had been captured and Brock had saved her. She smiled while reminiscing of the time since. 

"Do you remember calling me from the bar so drunk after the op in Turkmenistan that you couldn't find Cerb?" She laughed at the memory of him asleep on her couch with the hair missile after she picked them both up. "I hope he is okay and as soon as I know I will make sure you do too." The thought that Cerberus was gone now scared her for Brock and made her wonder how the rest of Bravo was and where they were but she knew that with the mandated time off she had no access to the information so her focus remained on the sleeping man in the bed. 

The ICU was a strange place that warped time. Nurses came and went. The clock seemed to move too slowly and then jump ahead. The doctors came twice a day unless something was wrong. They had explained that he had a subdural hematoma, basically a bruised brain that needed time to heal. A stab wound to the chest that had bled significantly but was repaired surgically and would heal with no lasting effects. His other injuries seemed minor comparatively a broken right wrist, cuts, brusing, a broken nose. She was glad for the sedation when she thought of the amount of pain he wiuld be in if awake but she also more than anything wished to see his smile. The doctors had let her know that he had been 'down' for a significant but unknown amount of time in the field. Even the idea of it made her want to hug Trent for trying until he got his brother back. For not being willing to give up on Brock but she didn't even know if Trent was alright himself. Tears fell from her eyes as she thought of Bravo and wondered if she would see them again. 

"I promise no matter what I'm here Brock." With every part of her being she meant it. The doctor's use of words like deficit, impairment, and permanent didn't sway her resolve. So in that small room she made promises to a man she wasn't sure would wake and wondered what tomorrow would bring. As she dozed in the not very comfortable chair beside his bed she hoped he would be allowed to wake soon. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The C-17 carrying Bravo team and their support landed at the airfield after debriefing and writing their AAR's on the plane. Blackburn was in agreement that it was imperative that Bravo be reunited with Brock as soon as possible. Since there had been no update in the air they planned to go immediately to the hospital. 

Vic was sitting alone in the back if the plane while the others gathered what personal items they had aboard. Thinking of caravaning to the hospital with the rest of Bravo made his hands shake. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realize Clay was beside him or that the rest of Bravo had already deplaned. 

"Ready?" Clay looked at him with understanding he hadn't seen from him before. 

"Nope." Vic turned away to stare at anything Clay.

"Okay. Let me know when you are and we'll go together." Clay leaned back and let his shoulder connect with Vic's. 

"Why are you doing this?"

"Cause if you hadn't done what ya did I'd being burying a brother instead of sitting with one." Clay leaned closer as Vic lost the last shread of composure and tears streamed down his face. 

"We can go." Wiping tears he stood and Clay followed a hand firmly planted on his younger brother's shoulder. 

Clay drove through town just a little faster than legal knowing any cop would overlook it once the situation was explained. And if they didn't he'd pay the fine. Vic took the time offered in the passenger seat to compose himself, grateful Clay hadn't suggested he drive. 

Pulling into the hospital he immediately noticed Bravo team standing together awaiting their arrival. Parking closely they joined their brothers, commander, and Davis before entering the hospital. The group was silent in expectation and apprehension as the nurse guided them to the family consultation room off of the main waiting room to the ICU. 

"You must be Bravo team. I'm Dr. Lewis, I've been caring for Reynolds since he arrived three days ago. I can tell you firstly he is critical but stable." The collective sign of relief and slight smiles faded as the man continued. "We have no idea how much damage was done between the bleeding on his brain and the amount of time he was down while CPR was preformed in the field. He's simply too heavily sedated to determine that at this point. We've explained that to his girlfriend as well. It may be another week before we can attempt to lower the dose of his meds."

"Are the scans showing any improvement and how often are you repeating them?" Trent needed more. 

"The scans are repeated daily and yes they are showing improvement but in his weakened state we prefer to be overly cautious." The honest response was appreciated. 

"Hey doc did you say you'd updated his girlfriend?" Sonny hadn't missed that part in all the medical jargon mostly because he didn't understand the medical. 

"Yeah we are updating her twice a day, why?"

"Brock's single." Ray looked both confused and just slightly alarmed. 

"Well if he is single who is the woman that had been sitting with him for three days?" The doctor now looked as confused as Bravo. "You must just not have known." 

"We would have known. Can you take me to his room?" Jason shifted from one foot to the other.

"Of course but because of our strict ICU policy we only allow two vistors so only one of you may come at a time while she is with him and convincing her to leave won't be easy." He looked at this group of somewhat disheveled men with pity in his eyes but infection control was the most pertinent aspect of the situation. 

Jason followed the doctor from the room and down a long corridor until the man stopped in front of a sliding glass door and nodded that they had arrived. Peering through the glass he was surprised to see Mandy leaning forward in a chair holding Brock's hand. Her hair was in a bun that had seen better days and she was so dressed down he swore she'd probably been asleep when the call came. 

He stepped into the room and was surprised by her lack of a reaction to his presence. Mandy didn't even glance in his direction. It was then that he realized she was whispering to Brock. Straining to hear he picked up the words "I'm gonna need to shower soon but I promise not to be gone long." The moment seemed intimate in a way it shouldn't and he suddenly felt guilty for invading the space.


	5. Chapter 5

"Mandy." He said her name quietly in an attempt not to startle her but she swung around like a teenager caught with a lit cigarette. 

"Jason! Thank God you're here." She stood and looked smaller than he expected. The flannel shirt hung loosely on her frame. Her eyes were swollen from tears and bloodshot making her skin look paler than normal and her cheeks hallowed. "No one would give me any information. Was anyone else..." The tears spilling from her eyes surprised him as she stood and he wrapped his arms around her. "Was anyone killed?"

"Shhh no, Mandy. Everyone is in the waiting room." Jason held her closely his confusion at her lack of knowledge mattering less than her tears. "Everyone except Cerb. He's at the Vet still. Should be released later today." 

Pulling away from Jason she stepped back to Brock's still form. Reaching down she took his hand and whispered "You hear that? They're all okay." Smiling and leaning forward she continued to whisper as Jason stepped from the room. "Your brothers are here now."

She swayed slightly as she let the sliding door close behind her. The hallway lights caused her to squint her sore eyes. The wall behind her supporting most of her weight. 

"Here." Jason reached to help her stand more straight as he guided her to the waiting room and Bravo. Stopping before entering the room he turned to her. "Mandy they will have a lot of questions and I'm sure you do too... I need to know though why you have no information." Her clearance should have given her all the details on the mission and the status of the operators sent. 

"I was benched for arguing against sending you. Suspended for two weeks." She lowered her head in shame at the failure while making the acknowledgement. 

"Okay." Jason pushed the door opened to the small conference room that they had commandeered. 

Entering the room she surveyed Bravo team. Clay sat next to Vic with a hand on his shoulder and the youngest member of Bravo looked wrecked, only capable of being there with Clay by his side. Ray sat on Clay's other side head down in prayer or exhaustion she assumed. Full Metal stood beside Sonny as the man shifted from one foot to the other the energy radiating off the Texan. Blackburn stood as they entered and joined Davis next to the coffee maker. Trent stepped forward. 

Mandy stopped herself from throwing her arms around Bravo's medic. He stood before her with his arms crossed and a gruffness she wasn't accustomed to having directed at her. Feeling small and weak wasn't something Mandy was comfortable with but in this moment she was childlike and felt her own tears threatening to fall again. Jason's hand on her back guided her to the nearest chair while Trent watched and softened his gaze realizing he was glaring. 

"You guys look awful." She said it to no one and everyone. 

"No offense Mandy but you look like hell too." Clay's smile was easy and reassuring. 

"You spend a day sitting bedside in the ICU and see how you look pretty boy." Smiling back at him she watched as the smile on his face fell and Davis stepped forward. 

"Mandy, the doc said you'd been here for three days... why don't I take you to your place for a bit now that the guys are here? You can shower and change your clothes?" Lisa's concern was written across her face. 

Nodding Mandy turned toward her. "Three days? Yeah maybe a break would be good." 

"Mandy if you're grounded how'd you know he was here?" The thought had been eating at Jason since she had explained her suspension. 

"Umm... he listed me as his next of kin..." Mandy felt like she was breaching his trust by sharing the information, her uncomfortableness apparent. He hadn't even told her and now she had told his entire team. It felt wrong but Jason wasn't someone she was willing to lie to or hide things from. "Davis can you give me that ride... I'm not sure I should be driving."

As the women left the room Blackburn raised his eyebrows questioningly at the rest of Bravo. Most of the men shrugged in response, all but one. Trent looked away. 

He had known that the two were closer now than before. Knew that after every op no matter how simple his best friend showed up at his house late in the evening with a whole pie. He was so used to the pattern now that they didn't even discuss it. Trent simply laid down on the couch and left the door unlocked. When Brock came he seemed calmer than before and he smiled more freely. She was good for his brother but it wasn't something they discussed and it wasn't something he was planning to share with the others. When the eyes around the room didn't leave him he decided saying nothing was no longer an option. "They get pie together sometimes."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ I'm very sorry for the delay in this fic. My little guy is disabled and has impulse control issues. His favorite movie is The Polar Express. In that movie there is a scene where the train engineer swallows a pin. Unfortunately he decided to reenact this scene and swallowed an 8cm decking screw. It was successfully removed at the Children's hospital 2 hours from our home but as you can imagine it was quite an interesting and stressful weekend. He is doing great with no lasting damage thankfully.

Cerberus whined as the door to the room he was housed in was opened. The dog was laying on a mat at the far wall, his IV had been removed earlier that day taking his sedation with it. The only thing he seemed to need now was rest and an oral antibiotic. The Veterinarian had warned them that he had been agitated to the point that it was bordering on aggression.

Stepping into the room Davis was nervous as Cerb looked at her but didn't react. Mandy moved forward and knelt down. "Hey Boy... I've been with Brock. He's doing okay, he's gonna be fine." Cerb thumped his tail at her with a familiarity he didn't show Lisa as she spoke softly to him. Lisa watched the interaction knowing that Mandy believed every word she was telling the dog. The doctors were uncertain, Bravo was fearful, Lisa herself doubted his recovery because she knew that Vic's strobe had been activated 45 minutes before Bravo arrived at his location, but Mandy believed in him. Mandy didn't doubt he would be alright.

They took the antibiotic for Cerb and the small bag Mandy had packed herself back to the waiting room with them. The dog would be allowed in the waiting room with them but was banned from entering the actual ICU. Cerberus walked from one member of Bravo to the next receiving head scratched and 'good boys' from them all before he stopped in front of Vic. Cerberus lower his head and whined at Bravo's youngest until Vic finally spoke. "Come get pet you damn fool. You know me now buddy?" Cerb moved to him and placed his head on Vic's knee in an apologetic way.

Mandy moved to the small loveseat and curled in on herself. She hadn't slept in days with the exception of small catnaps. The safety of having Bravo surround her lulled her to sleep.

Ray sat beside Jason. "Pie...Interesting." Jason nodded to him while sighing.

"Very." Jason looked toward Trent who stood then mumbled about a bathroom and walked out.

"Maybe it ain't right to speculate?" Sonny glared at Ray.

Blackburn looked around the room wondering if he would be able to convince any of them to get some rest at home. Doubting it he decided he should try anyway. "This is more of a long haul thing... lets get some rest and regroup in the morning."

"Not a bad idea. Ray go home, I'm sure Naima is worried. Full Metal you head out too and give Vic a ride." Jason doubted he could convince Sonny, Clay, or Trent to leave.

"I can give the kid a ride, Boss." Sonny's willingness to leave shocked his brothers.

"I'm staying." Vic lowered his hat to cover his eyes and leaned back into the chair.

Clay remained next to him but tilted his head to Jason indicating that it needed to be left alone for the time being. Jason's nod allowed the unsaid to be.

"Sonny did you drive here?" Lisa knew he hadn't but obviously Sonny had forgotten.

"Shit. Davis can you drop me off?"

The night passed as did the following days with a constant presence from Bravo team. One or two members always at Brock's bedside and the rest usually parked in the waiting room with Cerberus who was steadily improving from several deep gashes to his side. It was five days after Bravo arrived at the hospital that Dr. Lewis announced they would begin trying to wake Brock with the hope of assessing damage.

"Where is everyone?" Mandy was half asleep still and the stiffness she felt from sleeping not in a bed felt that it would never go away.

"Jason and Ray are on base meeting with Blackburn. Sonny and Full Metal went to pick up some take out food. Clay and Trent are in with Brock." Vic answered. He wasn't entirely sure how to talk to Mandy. She was definitely Bravo in many ways but she was also definitely not Bravo. "They say he should wake up soon so..."

"That's what they said yesterday too." She looked away before continuing. "What if... what if the best of him is gone?"

"Can't think like that is my only answer." Vic moved to a closer chair. "And we just have to wait and see I guess."

"You're right." Mandy watched the youngest member of Bravo with intrigue wondering how he was holding up while his seasoned teammates tried to hold it all together. "Can I ask you something?" At his nod she went on. "Everyone has rotated in to sit with him except for you. You haven't left the waiting room so it isn't that you don't care... so what is it?"

The dim lighting helped him hide his face but the tension in his body was clear to her. Years of interrogation taught her many things about human behavior. For the first time in over a week Mandy felt like herself while observing his nonverbal cues.

Vic shifted slightly to his left away from her. "Um I'm not sure I can see him like that?" He exhaled. "The last time I... ah... saw him, well he was dead."

It suddenly hit her that she had misplaced her appreciation for Brock's survival. None of them had explained what had happened in the field to her and she had assumed it had been Trent who worked to keep Brock alive. Looking at the boy in front of her she knew the truth. Moving slowly she wrapped her arms around him.


	7. Chapter 7

"Indigo." His voice was hoarse and the word whispered. Trent and Clay were out of their chairs, at his side, instantaneously.

"Hey Brock welcome back, brother." Clay carefully placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Small sips." Trent held the straw to his lips. "Have some water."

"Indigo." Brock moved his head side to side and kicked his heels into the mattress shifting himself higher on the bed.

"Hey buddy, calm down you're alright." Clay attempted to stop Brock's movements.

"Sage... eh... mint." Brock's eyes remained closed as he mumbled.

Trent was hitting the call button for the nurse before Clay could think to do so. "Hey you're okay. Brock open you're eyes." Trent tried his very best to remain calm while his best friend thrashed in a hospital bed.

"Jasmine." Brock's hands were fisted as he twisted his body against his brothers' hold.

"Yeah buddy those your favorite colors? Just settle down now okay?" Clay was leaning across his chest trying to stop him from hurting himself as the nurse injected something into his IV line and he went limp.

"What the fuck? Trent, what was that?" Clay's wide eyes were filled with fear.

"I don't know Clay." The agitation in Trent's voice spoke of the man's worry. "I'm not a neurologist." Trent slumped back into the uncomfortable chair and lowered his head to his hands.

"We should let everyone know." Clay stood slowly as if waiting for Trent to join him but when the medic remained seated he stepped from the room.

"Brock I really need you to make more sense when you wake up again. They will all ask me a hundred questions and expect me to have answers I don't have if you don't. I need you to be okay. We all need that. What's gonna happen if you don't show up after missions with a pie... I can't do this." Trent stood and moved to the doorway before turning back. "Please be alright."

Trent stood in the bathroom for almost ten minutes trying to make sense of what his brother had said and trying to comprehend that Brock might never be okay after this. For a nanosecond he was so enraged he wanted to kill Vic. Vic the stubborn child who could have just sentenced his best friend to life with such a diminished capacity Trent doubted it was worth living. He'd mostly avoided Bravo's youngest for exactly this reason. It had been too soon. Too soon to know anything, and maybe too soon to even hope.

As he walked down the long hallway to rejoin his family he considered hope. Too much would surely lead to devastation. Too little to despair. He wasn't sure which was worse but he was pretty certain his heart might actually break and he wished he'd asked Sonny to stop at the liquor store. Sonny would have done it.

Whiskey sounded better than Chinese. The image of Brock flailing around in the bed was almost worse that the one he couldn't stop picturing of him pulseless and blueish. He'd stayed here every night but tonight he might go home and drink himself stupid.

"Trent, hey wait up!" He turned to see Jason and Ray rushing down the hall. "Clay texted. He's awake! Have you been in? How is he?" Jason was clearly relieved and a bit excited by Brock's return to consciousness.

"Yeah... he was sedated. He was confused and not making sense." Trent felt like he had just pulled the rug from below them but the truth mattered and hope hurt.

They walked together to the waiting room. None of them saying a word. Vic was sitting away from Sonny, Full Metal, Clay, and Mandy when they entered the room. Ray stopped next to him before sitting beside him, Trent couldn't look at him but was trying not to make it obvious. He wondered if it had been him how he would forgive himself for this.

"Okay again. Tell us again Clay. What happened?" Sonny's eagerly stated.

"He woke up. He was thrashing around. Wasn't making any sense. The nurse sedated him before he could hurt himself. There isn't anything else to tell Son." Clay understood his frustration but it couldn't and didn't change facts.

"Okay. Everyone take a deep breath. You said he wasn't making sense Trent. What was he saying?" Jason needed more information just as much as Sonny did but knew both men needed different questions asked by anyone but Sonny.

Trent sat. "Indigo." He leaned back in his chair.

"Maybe it's a code or somethin'?" Sonny was desperate for the word to mean something, to mean anything.

Mandy sat closely but had stopped listening. Lost in a memory. Desperate for it to be true.

She was sitting with Brock at a diner the others didn't know. They were laughing. He was eating blueberry pie and his lips were tinted the color of the berries.

'Indigo huh? Is it a good look on me?' Their laughter drew the attention of an elderly couple they often saw here. The couple smiled at them as they laughed.

'Indigo might be my new favorite color!' Brock reached across the table and took her hand before reality hit him and he pulled back. Touch was when needed not wanted.

"Indigo." She whispered the word like a prayer.

"Mandy that means something to you?" Jason turned toward her.

"I need to see him." Mandy stood but was stopped by Trent.

"He also said Sage, Mint, and Jasmine. It didn't make sense to us but if it does to you..." His voice broke. "Please Mandy if it does tell us. Just a jumble of words or do they mean something?"

They were sitting on her balcony slightly drunk after a late night at the bar after pie after a hard mission. Brock was waiting for an uber to take him to Trent's. Mandy was laughing at his attempts to find a driver who wouldn't give him shit about Cerb. Turning to her he laughed too. "You now your eyes turn from sage to mint when you drink? They change color." She turned to him in time to turn away as he leaned forward toward her lips. The ding of his phone from his driver stopped them.

"They mean something." Tears were filling her eyes as the meaning cascaded into her memory.

"Hey you have any body wash that isn't so girly?"

"I'm a girl Brock." Turning around she was caught off guard by him in a towel. "Uh.. it's not entirely my fault you ended up here smelling like you fell out of a brewery."

He chuckled at her reaction. "What's wrong Mandy?" Shifting slightly the towel slid a bit lower on his hips.

"Nothing. You're stuck with either Lilac or Jasmine... take your pick." She turned back to the scrambled eggs she was cooking.

"Jasmine it is!" Brock's tone was all she needed to hear to know he enjoyed toying with the line neither would cross. The click of the bathroom door gave her time to clear her mind.

"You sure Mandy? Seemed pretty damn random to me." Clay pulled her back from the past. He wanted to believe her but wasn't sure how it could make sense.

"Yes." Mandy turned and walked from the room towards Brock's room.


	8. Chapter 8

It felt like he was trapped in a mudslide. Darkness enveloped him, covered him with a heaviness that he was trying not to panic about. There was no sound. Only the weight on him and the cold. The lack of everything else scared him. 

Flashes of before came to him. Of running hills with Cerberus. Of silently sipping vanilla coffee with Trent. Lifting weights with Clay. Clinking beers Sonny. Fist bumping Ray while laughing at the others. The feeling of Jason's hand on his shoulder.

And of Mandy. 

Mandy with an outburst of laughter. Mandy curled up in a booth eating strawberry rhubarb pie. Mandy singing along to the radio while driving him home. Mandy leaning just a little closer when they were alone. Mandy smelling like jasmine with her green eyes sparkling. Mandy holding his hand to feel human again. 

And then the brightness came. His head pounded with each heartbeat and his stomach rolled. He was in an alleyway. Cerberus was growling. Low and haunting. A yip and snarled sound echoed around him. Hyper aware of his solitude. Cerb whined. A burning pain slammed into him as his nose broke. His arm was twisted behind him and the snapping of bone send pain rippling. Then he was on the ground with a knife being pulled out of a his chest, Trent wouldn't like that, lifted and slammed against the stone building and again and again and he wanted to eat pie with Mandy, and then nothing. 

He was cold. Felt himself shutter. He would reach for a blanket but his right hand hurt and his left was trapped. He thought maybe he should be concerned about that but it was warm. But more than warm it felt safe. Safe like riding in a helo out of a firefight. Safe like waking to Cerb tucked next to him. Safe like riding around back roads with his grandfather. 

It was smell that came back to him first. The smell of antiseptic. A hospital. The sterile smell made him more aware of the headache he was trying to will away. The air around him seemed stale and unmoving. But suddenly the faint smell of jasmine drifted to him. Everything was hazy but he hoped she was with him and he hoped he was actually smiling. 

As he opened his eyes the brightness of the the dimly lite room caused him to close them again. He would try again in a few minutes. He could hear the whisper of conversation near him. He knew they were waiting and so wanted them to know he was here with them but it would wait. 

Trent pulled the chair closer but she hadn't noticed. He silently watched as Mandy held his hand their thumbs interlocked. With her other hand she brushed his curls off his forehead. The touch was intimate and loving in a way that stunned him. 

He knew thatbin the last ten months their relationship had changed. Brock had changed. Not in any obvious way but in the subtle way his eyes drifted to her, the way his smile lingered at the mention of her name. But Trent had no idea this is what that change meant. He had no clue how gentle her emotions toward his best friend had become.

"Mandy?" Trent waited until she looked up at him. "How long have you been together?"

Mandy licked her lips. Delayed while her mind raced. "We aren't." She glanced back to Brock. "We get pie when he gets home. Have for almost a year now... you know that he brings you pie. And sometimes we run together. And we grab a drink sometimes. He's called me from the bar a few times instead of uber." 

"So you're not together... a couple days a week or when he's spun up?" Trent smiled knowingly. 

Mandy wasn't sure what to say in response. She could tell Trent so many things but most were things she hadn't said to Brock making it seem wrong in multiple ways. "Not sure what to say here Trent."

"You don't have to explain to me, he does when he wakes up but you're good." He continued to smile as he turned back to Brock. The man seemed to have been stirring slightly a bit ago but hadn't woken. Now that appeared to be changing. 

Mandy sat forward as Brock's head tilted toward her. His eyes slowly blinked open and closed again. Holding his hand again she strocked his shoulder. 

"Hey Brock you with us?" Trent stood in anticipation of another violent episode. 

"Head hurts." Brock closed his eyes again. 

Mandy lowered her hand to shield his eyes from the lights in the room. "That better?"

Brock slowly nodded and a smile graced his lips. "Mhm yeah. Thanks." He reached out his left hand blindly searching for her hand. Without looking down she grasped his hand. 

"I'm going to let the nurse know you're awake and the rest of the guys. Everyone's in the waiting room." Trent said while walking to the door before turning back. "I'm glad you're back Brock."

As Trent left the room Brock squeezed her hand. "Glad you're here."

"Listed me as you're primary next of kin." She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah." He sipped the water she was offering. "I sort of knew if everything went to shit..." He raised up their linked hands "I'd want you around to hold my hand."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the wait! This chapter is honestly not what I wanted it to be but it needs to be posted so I can move this story forward. Thank you to everyone who is reading and enjoying.

Brock woke what felt like hours or days later. His mind was more clear as he tried to make sense of the ambush that almost took his life. The increased beeping of his heart monitor deterred him from focusing too heavily on it. Opening his eyes he was saw Jason leaning forward. 

"How are you feeling?" There was apprehension in his voice. He wouldn't believe his teammate was cognitively well until Brock spoke. 

"Like I was hit in the face, stabbed, and had my skull slammed off the pavement a few times. Still trying to figure out why my ribs feel broken. Did..." Brock stopped as tears welled in his eyes. "Did you bring Cerb home?" Brock fingered the fraying blanket with his left hand. 

"Brock Cerb's in the waiting room." Blackburn spoke quickly realizing what Brock clearly thought. "He'll be allowed in once you're moved from the ICU."

"They have a very strict policy requiring visitors to be over age fourteen." Jason added it to avoid the tears spilling down Brock's face. 

The soft chuckle had him reaching to his sore chest. "Ribs?" The smile didn't fade. 

Jason looked to Blackburn completely unable to explain as he vividly remembered the fight to get Brock back that took place. Exhaling slowly he shook his head slightly trying to figure out how to say it. Unable to do so he again looked to his commander. 

"CPR, you have some cracked ribs." Blackburn held eye contact as he said it. 

"Oh... uh um." He stopped for a moment until Jason reached a hand out to his shoulder. "Is Trent okay?" 

"It was Vic. Trent took over and gave you epinephrine which brought you back but it was mostly Vic." Jason squeezed his shoulder. "They'll both be okay." 

"Yeah... where is everyone else?"

"Sent everyone home for a bit. You'll be moved out of the ICU later today and they can all come back then if you're up for it." Jason smiled. 

"There a reason the two of you stayed?" Brock knew there was but wasn't going to start the conversation. If they wanted to know they would have to ask. 

"We all know there is." Blackburn raised an eyebrow. "Technically she isn't military so from our side it isn't against regs."

Brock nodded. "Nothing's happened anyway."

"But you want it to?" Jason smiled. "She's your PNOK."

"Don't wanna mess anything up... but in that alley when it didn't seem like I was gonna come home... I wanted her." Brock closed his eyes. 

"You need to tell her that, just like that." Blackburn patted his leg before walking to the door. "Rest and we'll see you later."

Mandy stood outside the ICU with Cerb while the nurses prepared Brock for transfer to the floor where his recovery would continue. Cerb whined in anticipation knowing something was about to happen but not knowing what. The dog had been exceptionally well behaved given the circumstances and while he had been spoiled a bit by Bravo Mandy had been forced to set limits when Sonny had attempted to give the dog a ribeye. Brock would have flipped if he were aware. Looking down at the canine as he hopped from one foot to the other without moving forward she slightly regretted withholding the steak. 

The nurses were forced to stop the bed in the middle of the hallway as an overly excited Cerberus bounded onto the foot of it. Both women bristled at the idea of the dog along for the ride but the smile on Brock's face stopped any arguments before they started. And as Cerb inched forward up to Brock Mandy tried unsuccessfully not to laugh. 

Once he was settled in his room with Cerb tucked closely next to him and Mandy sitting close Brock thought of his earlier conversation with Jason and Blackburn. He knew Mandy had been accused of and reprimanded in the past for an inappropriate relationship with Bravo team. The thought of telling her he didn't want to someday wonder what could have been terrified him. If pie was all they were meant to share would that be enough? Could he spend his life loving her and then going back to Trent's house to avoid the void she had left. He allowed his eyes to slip closed knowing his brothers were coming soon and he needed to think, to have time, before he even attempted a conversation that could wreck him. Drifting slowly to sleep he thought of an alleyway thousands of miles from here and the desire to hold her hand one more time.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not abandoned my fics but my muse has abandoned me. Trying to get back into this one and finish the story... please give me grace while I reestablish this. Hope everyone enjoys and I will hopefully update sooner rather tham later.

Brock woke before sunrise the next morning. Shifting slightly he was reminded by pain that movement wasn't an entirely good idea. He exhaled slowly breathing through the last spike of pain.

"You in pain?" Trent sat forward in the recliner. 

"Not as bad as yesterday." Brock's voice was low enough to betray him.

"So worse then? I'll get a nurse." Trent stood to go into the hall. 

"Wait." Brock used the bed control to raise the head of his hospital bed. "That's better. Can we just sit a while before they give me meds that make me loopy?"

"Of course Brother, as long as you're okay." Trent retook his place in the chair beside Brock. 

They sat together in silence as the rising sun brightened the room before Brock finally broke the silence. "I might have done something pretty stupid." Trent's raised eyebrows urging him to continue. "I think I let myself get to close. Care a lot more than I should. It started as pie but now..." Brock's eyes avoided contact. "Now it's so much more than that and what now Trent?"

Trent watched his usually calm brother flustered and stuttering while attempting to explain what Trent already knew. In the last week sitting at Brock's bedside or in a too still waiting room he had already seen all he needed to see. Had seen the desperation and fear, seen the hope and love. Seen it all in her eyes. 

"Now you tell her. She's been here since before we arrived. When we got here one of the first things the doctor told us was that they were keeping 'your girlfriend' informed. She'd been here for three days but she didn't know it'd been that long. She was wearing your shirt," Trent noticed the look Brock gave him "it's that ugly blue flannel Sonny gave you to 'country' you up." 

Brock wrapped an arm around his cracked ribs as he laughed. "That shirt probably looks better on her anyway."

"Definitely does." Trent laughed. "How's your pain?"

"Worse than before. Probably need something." Brock knew Trent had seen the wince he was unable to hide. "Trent what happens if I do this and it changes everything in a way I can't undo?"

Across town Clay was knocking on Vic's door for the fifth time. The younger Seal's car was in his assigned parking space but the kid wasn't answering texts, calls, and now his door. Clay contemplated texting Full Metal to bring some lock picking tools when he finally heard movement from inside the apartment. 

"The fuck Clay?" Vic's voice was hoarse with sleep.

"What do you mean 'the fuck' we're going to see Brock." Clay pushed the door to Vic's place open and entered without an invitation. "Go get dressed." He wandered toward the couch. 

"I actually have some stuff to deal with this morning. I'll stop by later to see him." Vic walked to his kitchen unaware that Clay was now following him.

"Nope. We are going this morning. You can handle whatever after."

Vic was fighting with his coffee maker. The basket all but refusing to be put where it belonged. "You my scheduler?" Turning back to the stubborn machine he mumbled more to himself than Clay. "Yumaris aljins mae aleaql eamalik."

"Hey! Don't swear at me. That might work with Sonny but I speak Arabic dumbass. Go get dressed we are leaving in five. We'll grab coffee on the way." Clay glared but the scowl didn't reach his eyes. Vic dropped the basket in the counter and silently retreated to his room. 

And silent Vic stayed. On the drive to the hospital and the walk across the parking lot. He didn't speak in the lobby, the elevator, or the short hallway that lead to Brock's room. 

Silent as the numbness wrapped around him. His heavy feet hit the floor step after step vaguely aware that bile was rising and the hallway was spinning.

As they approached Trent stepped from the room staring down at his phone. Turning he almost ran directly into Clay. "Shit, sorry." It was the only response he had and without looking up he moved to the wall. 

"Trent. Everything okay?" Clay's words caught his attention and he was relief at seeing his brothers washed over him. 

"Yeah." Trent tried to steady his frayed nerves. "It's been a long week. I'm tired."

Clay was taken back by Trent's rawness. "Let's get some food. Should one of us stay with Brock?" He looked to Vic who was shifting uncomfortably with his hands jammed into the front pockets of his jeans. 

"He's out. Pain meds are making it hard for him to stay awake but the alternative sucks." Trent looked back to his phone. "It's not gonna be easy for him coming back from this... He's going to have to accept the suck and it just got a hell of a lot harder." 

Trent handed Clay his phone as he walked away. Glancing down Clay quickly reads the message before looking back up to see Trent's back disappearing around the corner.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When in doubt or fighting with writer's block I call on Trent. For some reason I find Trent to be the one who I can usually write without a terrible struggle.... Hopefully you all agree and enjoy this chapter.

Trent sat in the hospital cafeteria wondering how he should have responded to the text. Should he have told her he understood it wasn't her choice and he would take care of Brock until her return? Should he have railed at her for her selfishness? Cussed her out? Begged her to stay for his brother? Told her to leave for good, that Brock needed focus in his recovery and life. He had no idea so he just sat rereading the text in his mind. 

~Trent, I have been reassigned. I'm leaving the country... can't say to where. Please tell him I'll be home as soon as I can. Please take care of him. And tell him I'm so sorry I can't be there with him.~

The more he thought about it the angrier he became. Did she honestly expect him to break Brock's heart on her behalf? And the presumption that he needed to be told to take care of Brock was enraging. So there he sat seething. Rage flowing through him in a way he wasn't accustomed to but in the moment didn't mind enough to fight. 

Clay and Vic immediately saw Trent in the back corner of the cafeteria clenching and unclenching his fists on the tabletop. His breathing was more rapid and unfocused than Clay had ever seen from their stoic medic. Reaching a hand out he stopped Vic. "Grab three coffees and wait to join us until I signal you." Vic nodded and took one step away before Clay called out to him. "And Vic get french vanilla creamer."

As Clay approached Trent seemed unaware of his presence. Staring staight ahead and continuing to make fists as if he was using every ounce of his strength to refrain from punching something or someone. Clay sat across from him wordlessly.

"Vic needs to see him before you tell him she's gone." Clay inhaled sharply at the sudden glare from Trent. "The kid isn't okay. He's struggling almost as much as you Trent, but I know why he's having a rough time. What's going on with you, brother?"

"What's wrong is a list Clay. You want the fucking list?" Trent lowered his eyes to his clenched fists before intentionally flattening his palms on the table. 

"Well yeah I do because if I had a list you'd sure as shit force it out of me." Meeting Trent's eyes he pressed on. "Or Sonny would."

"Yeah he would. Brock would stare at me until I broke and spilled my guts. You know that's part of it. After every op he stays at my house the first night home? It started after we rescued Mandy almost a year ago. I'm so used to it now I'm not sure what I'd do if he didn't show up. We almost lost him. We almost lost him and I should have been there. If Vic hadn't found him... and when he was still out I hated Vic for being the one who did. If he hadn't been cognitively there I'm not sure I would have forgiven Vic. I'm mad that I have to explain simple shit to everyone and I sort of hate myself for that. I'm pissed she ditched and even more pissed that I have to tell him. And honestly I'm a bit pissed that I'm rambling this all of to you." Trent lowered his head to rest on his hands still splayed across the table top. For a moment Clay didn't know what to say but thought about Brock and realized no words were needed for Trent. Leaning across the table he laid his hand on the back of Trent's lowered head and sat. The slight shake of Trent's shoulders told him silence was the right choice as he shook his head to Vic indicating more time was needed. 

After a few minutes Trent straightened up and his red rimmed exhausted eyes met Clay's. "Coffee is probably cold and the kid is probably freaking people out with his pacing."

Clay's laugh caught Vic's attention and when both men nodded he tried not to spill the coffee as he joined them. Reaching in his hoodie pocket he pulled out two handfuls of French vanilla creamers which promptly scattered across the table. Fumbling with the cream he nearly dumped the coffee as Clay took it from his hands and looked to Trent. 

"Kid it's enough." Trent spoke softly as he continued. "You did good but you can't stop seeing him down. Everyone is saying he's better but you close your eyes and he's dead while you break his ribs in desperation... Vic you have to stop avoiding him. You need to see for yourself that he is okay." 

Vic's chin trembled slightly as he nodded. They sat sipping coffee that Clay insisted they all added vanilla creamer to until Vic broke the silence. "Clay I'm ready."

Walking together down what seemed to Vic to be an endless hallway made it feel less undoable. His brothers matched his steps and eased his anxiety until they stood together outside the door to Brock's room. Vic could feel the fear and hesitation with every beat of his heart as he pushed the door open. 

Brock was pushing grayish scrambled eggs around the tray in front of him when the door opened. "I wouldn't feed this to Cerb." He watched as Trent slumped into a chair and Clay stood awkwardly close to Vic. "You broke my ribs." His tone was even and his face unreadable. 

"I did." Vic nodded while his voice cracked slightly.

"Thank you for being so damn stubborn." Brock looked between his brothers for a moment. "Now is someone going to get me something edible to eat?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING! This chapter heavily references a work posted on ff.net titled The Only Easy Day. This chapter also references a sexual assault and the exam that follows.

Vic volunteered to get Brock something to eat which left Trent and Clay to tell him Mandy was gone. Clay looked pointedly at Trent who subtly shook his head not yet ready for the ramifications of the information. In his mind he went over the possible outcomes not only to Brock's heart but also his recovery. Finally when he knew Vic would return too soon he took a deep breathe and nodded to Clay. 

Sensing Trent's reluctance Clay cleared his throat. "Brock, uh we gotta tell you something." He looked away from his brother and contemplated his next words while Brock watched with concern. 

"Mandy texted me in the night. She was reassigned. She's gone Brock." Trent's words cut through the room like a blade. His eyes locked on his brother.

Brock felt like he was back in the alley. The words hit him like a punch to the face. The burning in his chest reignited the healing stab wound. While he tried to measure his breathing he could feel his head slamming against the cobblestone with every beat of his heart. 

Nodding his head slightly he bit his tongue until the dizziness ebbed and he was able to speak. "Okay." There was nothing else to say. Telling his brothers that this felt worse than dying wouldn't bring her back or make his hand feel less empty. 

Trent watched as Brock locked away the news and tried not to break regretting his support of this mess. Brock, for all they saw still had a faith in humanity Trent was sure he himself had lost long ago. An innocence Trent was sure he never possessed to begin with. His brother believed in love still somehow. And Amanda Ellis may have just ended that. 

"Okay? Are you okay, Brock?" Clay interrupted both of their thoughts. 

"Yeah... just starting to wonder if Vic forgot where to bring the food back to and I swear if he shows up with a kale smoothie I'll kill him with this cast." Brock held up his casted right wrist to indicate his intention to murder the team's youngest member causing all three to laugh. 

The day passed with his thoughts thousands of miles away in a place he couldn't name. Her laughter echoed within him and he longed to have her near but knew with everything in him thay she would return to him as soon as she was able. Brock knew running, he knew Mandy, and he knew the difference. 

As the days and weeks passed slowly he grasped the memory of her hand in his. A lifeline to strength when all he felt was weak. At physical therapy he struggled and pushed and thought back to when he was her rock. To a time when without his hand she would have been lost. On his weakest days he desperately thought of her and remembered the way she looked at him as if he could do anything. And ever so slowly he began to believe that maybe he could. 

After a particularly bad day at PT that left him feeling defeated he returned to Trent's house feeling almost broken. Trent had done his best to be encouraging and assure him that it would get easier with time and each session. Brock wanted to believe him. As he drifted to sleep he thought of Mandy and how disappointed she would be if he failed, how he wouldn't be the man she imagined he was if he couldn't even handle a rough day. 

Trent watched as Brock slept restlessly on his couch instead of in the guestroom. For the first time in weeks Brock seemed to be breaking and he wasn't sure how that had happened or how to make it better. He had handled the news that Mandy was gone well, had throw himself into PT and OT and was excelling at both. And then today... well Trent wasn't sure what had happened today. 

The slight rustle from the couch had both Cerb and Trent on their feet and moving to the living room. Brock was mumbling in his sleep. Trent stood in the doorway trying to decide whether to wake his brother or listen to the mumbles. Brock's movements in his sleep becoming more erratic make the decision for him. 

He wasn't sure if it was Trent calling out or Cerberus whining that drew him from the nightmare. One instant he was in an exam room and the next in Trent's living room. One second his hand was held as if letting go would end the world and the next it was empty. If he let his eyes remain closed for a moment too long he could still see her in a paper gown, her shaking legs in stirrups, tears running from her tightly clenched eyes. So he opens his own eyes and looks to Trent. 

Trent moved closer once it was obvious that Brock was awake. The worry in his posture radiated across the room. Brock couldn't do much to reassure him while struggling to regain control but gives him a small smile in an attempt. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Trent sat at the end of the couch. 

Under his brother's watchful eyes Brock lied. "No, don't even remember what I dreamed." He honestly wanted to tell Trent everything. His brothers knew back then that staying with her had been unbearable but it was never his place to share her pain. Brock intentionally tried to avoid looking to Cerb as the lie left his lips. It was his tell and even he knew it but sometimes couldn't help looking for comfort from his canine best friend. 

Trent nodded and they comfortably sat in silence. Watching Brock he could almost see the man rebuilding whatever had broken earlier in the day. He was sitting straighter than his broken ribs had allowed in weeks. His eyes seemed more focused. And when Brock turned to him it was almost as if he hadn't died in an alley thousands of miles away only to return stateside and be abandoned. Trent wanted to question the sudden turn around but feared doing so would somehow undo it. So instead he simply asked. "Dinner?"

"Yeah."


	13. Chapter 13

Mandy Ellis was many things. Hardworking, dedicated, forcused, goal oriented, purpose driven were just a few but stood out as those listed on her last job evaluation. Sitting in a small Eastern European cafe waiting for a contact she questioned the purpose she had here. Logically and logistically she knew she was needed but, and now there always seemed to a but, her heart ached and her mind wandered. 

She thought of dark curls and light eyes sparkling. Of gentle grazes on her hips after one too many at the bulkhead. She could almost feel his hand in hers when she closed her eyes. And close her eyes she did. 

Sitting at an outdoor cafe the warmth of her coffee cup in one hand the other resting on her lap wishing for it's match. The cool Spring breeze tangling her hair slightly. His smile in her mind. A shiver ran down her spine. Opening her eyes to see her guest sitting across the table. 

She almost laughed at the level of stupidity it took to daydream while waiting to meet an arms dealer in a far flung hell hole with almost no support and a non-official cover. The absolute absurdity of it all. She thought of all the times Jason had railed at Clay to leave it at home. Ray's calm voice telling someone to get their head straight before being in the field. Of Sonny cracking an inappropriate joke. Trent's slow head shake. She forced herself to bite the inside of her cheek to stop the laughter. Forced herself to focus on the mission. Prayed it would be over soon. Wished he was in a van close by watching over her. Wished he was close. 

It had been three months since she promised to be back with him after checking in at work. As she sat in a safehouse in the warehouse district that had been her home for lack of a better term she thought of what his recovery must look like now. His face healed of bruises or swelling, she wondered if his reset nose was a bit more crooked than before. His no longer casted right wrist would hopefully have full range of motion but she doubted he was done with PT. She would guess he was jogging with Cerb a bit now while Trent scowled in disapproval. She liked to believe his headaches weren't too bad still. The report on her latest contact stared up at her blankly. 

Mandy sat for hours contemplating her next move. Chewing her bottom lip until it bled. Letting her mind wander into his arms where she was sure her heart had already escaped. Standing, pacing, sitting, typing, deleting, repeating. The first rays of the morning sun surprised her. The ringing of the emergency only satellite phone startled her. Her own words shocked her.

"I'm requesting immediate extract. I'm out. I'm done."

"Mandy what happened? Are you hurt?" Her handler's voice sounded distant to her.

"No. No. Physically I'm okay... I just, I need to not be here."

"Agent are you compromised?" The voice wavered slightly. 

"No. I'm just done." Her voice broke slightly and she bit down harder on her slightly bruised lip. 

"Mandy... I don't understand." 

"All you need to understand is if you don't get me out if here I'll buy a plane ticket home... under my real name." The blood filling her mouth tasted like her career ending.

Her flight landed four days later and as she rented a car, breathing in clean air, she was filled with nervous energy. She had spent her life reaching goals. Accomplishments checked off a list. Driving toward Va Beach it occurred to her that this might be the first true risk she had ever taken. Yes she had taken professional risks but those had been calculated or desperate depending on the situation. Consequences that she could overcome eventually. This, this was different. This was everything. She knew she still had the formal exit procedures to complete but it was basically over now. And while she wanted more than anything for his hand to be waiting for hers there was no guarantee. She had abandoned him while he was hurt and hospitalized. She wouldn't blame him if he turned away at the sight of her. Her heart beat faster at the thought. A calculated risk this wasn't. It was anything but and it terrified her more than she would evem attempt to admit. 

Using her not yet revoked CIA clearance Mandy gained access to the naval base and DEVGRU headquarters. She avoided eye contact in the hallways as she silently said goodbye to the place hoping desperately she wouldn't also be saying goodbye to the people. She found her way to the kitchenette and a full pot of coffee knowing she was only delaying the inevitable. But the thing about the inevitable is it will happen so delay doesn't matter especially when it just might break your heart.

The sound of laughter approaching momentarily stole her breath. The voices were ones she would recognize anywhere in the world and she wished she could hide away. Sonny was rambling, Clay was arguing, Vic agreeing with Clay, and Trent telling them to all grow up with a chuckle. 

Mandy smiled at the feeling of home. The safety these men had always provided her. With one more beat of her heart the door swung open.

Trent held up his hand stopping the others. The smile on Vic's face disappeared with a glance to his brothers. Sonny stepped around them and moved into the room without acknowledging her. Her eyes found Clay's for an instant before he looked away. Trent's eyes however never left her. 

In his eye's Mandy saw anger. An anger she could only recall seeing a time or two from the man trusted to mend the brokenness. "Trent... Is he alright?"

Trent stepped forward with an aggression that made her step back into the counter behind her. Her back against the wall. "Really? You want an update? You think that's something you deserve? For fucks sake Agent Ellis you walked." His voice was filled with gravel as the volume increased to an almost yell. 

Mandy stood straight. Her head held as high as she could muster. She wanted to crumble to the floor, to scream, to cry, to beg, to explain, and to justify but instead she stood with her teeth grinding into her cheeks and her heart ripped apart staring at a man she once considered family. 

Vic stood back watching as Trent laid into Mandy and Clay and Sonny wedged themselves between the two. Clay's hand on the medic's chest being used as a restraint instead of a comfort. He watched as she sucked her cheeks inward. Watched as she stood unwavering but silent. 

"Now's the time to maybe say somethin' there Mandy." Sonny's Texas drawl sounded. 

"Is there really anything I could say Sonny?" Mandy's eyes stayed locked on Trent's. 

"You could try." Clay stated quietly. 

"Could I?" A single tear slipped out of her eye. "Because honestly I don't think I can." 

Trent surged forward with venom in his words. "Can't or won't Mandy because there is a pretty damn big difference and the way I see it the crying doesn't change shit." 

"ENOUGH!" None of them had noticed Jason and Ray enter the room. 

With less gentleness than it appeared Trent was helped backward by Sonny and Clay. Shoved into a chair and with hands on his shoulders kept in place. "Usually more my style." The comment from Sonny earned a scowl and low growl from Trent. 

"Everyone just needs to take a minute and calm down. Let cooler heads prevail." Ray repositioned himself in the center of the room between the group and Mandy. 

"Hey Ray why don't you go..." Trent stopped himself from finishing the sentence when he noticed Brock standing shell-shocked in the doorway.


	14. Chapter 14

"I'll just go." She said the words as her eyes lifted to meet Brock's across the room. What she saw in his eyes nearly destroyed her but allowing herself to be the reason Bravo fell apart was not an option. 

Brock watched as his brothers confronted her for leaving in a confused mix of anger, sadness, and grief. And the brokenness he saw in her eyes was one he had hoped to never see there. Mandy looked more lost and unsure than he imagined she was capable of being. 

"Seems like something you're pretty good at Mandy." Trent's words cut. "Guess you're sort of an expert so yeah just go. Go now before you decide to do it when he's hurt again or about to spin up... go now before you once again decide that his pain is less important than your career." Trent spat the anger filled words before he could stop himself. 

"I'm sorry." She could explain, could tell them all that she was done. That she had given up the only thing that had ever made her feel valuable because she couldn't stand not holding his hand but now none of that mattered anymore. The hate and anger from Trent, his best friend, was all she needed to know now. 

Mandy took two steps toward the door before Brock finally broke free of his shock. "Stop." He took a deep breath while stepping further into the room. "Please. Everyone please just stop." There was a begging quality to his voice that spoke of his desperation louder than his words ever could. With her standing in the same room more than anything he just wanted to hold her hand. 

"Clay, Sonny get Trent out of here. Cages now. Ray go with them so they don't allow anything stupid." Jason watched as his men moved toward the door but as Trent turned back he continued. "Now Trent! Don't say another word." He could count on one hand the amount of times he had used his Bravo 1 tone on Trent.

Vic watched from the wall as four of his brother's left the room. He felt like a voyeur and wished like hell he was one of them as they went. While dealing with their enraged medic didn't seem like a pleasant staying somehow seemed worse. He moved stealthily toward the exit unnoticed by Jason, Brock, and Mandy. Once in the hallway he could hear the echos of yelling from the cages and the silence from the kitchenette equally. So he did the only thing he could think and pulled out his phone to order food. 

Jason stepped from the room to see Vic placing a call for pizza. "Wasn't sure what to order. Got pizza, and Chinese, and subs." 

"Good job kid." Jason smiled at Bravo's youngest as he moved toward the cages. 

Trent sat in his cage ashamed of the show he had put on. He had surprised not only his brothers but also himself when he saw her. The rage that had brewed from the moment he entered that alley to see their youngest pumping Brock's chest in the pouring rain until that very moment spilled over. It wasn't often the medic felt out of control and it would never be a feeling he was comfortable with. Breathing slowly he desperately tried to compose himself. 

Looking up his eyes met Jason's eyes. His team leader looked concerned bordering on scared but didn't speak just watched. After a moment Trent stood and nodded silently acknowledging his behavior as both out of control and unacceptable.

Mandy stood with her back still touching the counter behind her. Frozen in a moment wasn't a concept she was familiar with, in her world action mattered, stillness mostly existed for others. But of all the people she had interacted with Brock was probably the most kenetic and in this moment his inaction stilled her. Her eyes with tears threatening to fall locked of his desperately seeking to read them, to understand what he was thinking. Trying to gauge her future in his eyes because asking was an impossibility. 

Brock held his gaze on her. Knowing she stood before him but terrified that blinking would somehow cause her to disappear. Breathing deeply he took every ounce of her. Watched as she counted her breaths, as her hands shook slightly, the circles below her eyes, the fear within them. 

"Hey." He shifted slightly but made no forward progress. 

"Do you... do you want me to go?" Mandy took a small step forward. 

"I do." Brock closed the distance between them in what felt like one motion. Standing inches from her he was suddenly struck with the scent of Jasmine and longed to inhale her. He wondered if the whole of her was as soft as her hands, he imagined most was softer. Reaching out his left hand grasped her right. His other hand brushed tears from her face and tucked with strands of hair behimd her ear. "I want you to go. Go get in my truck. Go get pie with me. Let's just go." The smile spreading across his face felt real for the first time since a failed mission. 

Mandy tried her best to hold back the sob that escaped. The tears that fell. The relief that washed over her as his arms wrapped around her. "Okay let's go."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly I hope eveyone is doing alright during this unprecedented time. Secondly I sincerely apologize the extreme delay. I have one or two more chapters planned for this work and hope to have them posted this week.

Brock stared across the table at her still wondering if she was an apparition or mirage created by his desperation. They hadn't spoken in his truck as they left base or made their way to the diner. She sat in the middle bench seat, her head resting on his shoulder. 

And now he watched her wondering how long she would be his before life swept one of them away to a far off place that neither wanted to travel to. Would she have time for a goodbye this time, would he? Usually they had a few hours but occasionally it was 'go time' immediately. Would that be their life together? Would they just see each other in passing, hoping to have a goodbye and a hand to hold on return?

"You look... sad?" Mandy was staring back at him taking in all that was Brock Reynolds, including the slightly crooked nose from it's most recent break. His hair a bit more unkempt than usual and there was a darkness that had entered his eyes. 

"Not sad just... nervous? Not really sure how exactly this is going to work but I want it to work." He glanced to the waitress delivering their pie and burgers all at once. 

Mandy waited until the overly bubbly teenager confirmed everything was fine with their food and walked away. "So, I'm pretty sure I don't actually have a job anymore..."

"Pretty sure?" Brock raised an eyebrow at her while adding a fry to his mouth still full of pie. 

"Yeah. Pretty sure." The smile on her lips turned to a chuckle. And ended with their laughter filling the diner and drawing attention. 

Standing outside the diner after paying their bill Brock leaned on the passenger side door of his truck. Mandy joined him, her shoulder beside his. "Hey Brock." She tilted her head to make eye contact. "I quit my job for a man that I've never kissed." The nervousness in her voice made him smile. 

"Well I guess we should fix that before you finalize everything. I mean for all you know I slobber more than Cerb." He was leaning in and half laughing as his lips made contact with hers. The sweet taste of strawberry rhubarb pie lingered as she slowly parted her lips to his tongue. Her arms wrapped around his neck as his hand ran through her hair at the base of her neck. Pulling away he rested his forehead against hers and opened his eyes. "So?"

"So... I have some things to finalize." She moved to rest her head on his shoulder and clung to him in silence. "At some point I should probably also talk to Trent." Her eyes met his as she leaned slightly away. 

"I'll handle Trent." Brock clenched his jaw at the thought of the conversation needed, the thought of the confrontation he could feel building inside.

"Brock," she stepped back and watched as his demeanor changed "I get that he's your brother, more than a blood brother, but I need to talk to him. I need you to not try to save me from the consequences here." 

Brock leaned forward again pressing his forehead against hers. "Trent's Trent. I love him but honestly he can be sort of a dick sometimes and he's my best friend."

"I have a best friend too. Although he'd argue being called that because he is a real dick all the time. You might know him? Goes by Jason Hayes mostly but when he's called Bravo One..." her sentence dissolved into laughter as she reached for the truck handle.


	16. Chapter 16

Trent paced around his house. He forced himself to eat a tv dinner he had no appetite for and attempted to win a hand of solitare but his concentration waned. His mind jumped from situation to situation. The sound of his brother's voices yelling his name in chaos echoed within him and collided with the image of Vic pumping on Brock's chest without a word. The push that was necessary to move the youngest of Bravo away almost knocked him off his own feet. 

The weeks and months of silence from Brock lingered as he thought back to the look on his brother's face as he himself tore into Mandy. The rage he'd felt at Brock for being seperated, at Vic for possibly condemning him to a life of nothing, and at Mandy for walking away cascaded through him until his eyes had met Brock's and all he could see was desperation. Until he really saw Mandy and came face to face with the fear that she clung to like a raft. 

The knock on his door was unexpected. Brock never knocked. He'd been back at his own place with Cerb for a bit now. The dog's extra dishes had yet to be put away. A stray tennis ball or two littered the yard and spare bedroom. It had become Brock's room and the house suddenly felt empty as another knock sounded on his door. Trent sat motionless slumped on the couch. The door was unlocked in case Brock came later although he doubted with everything in him that Brock would come. Whoever it was that was now knocking for a third time could either open it or walk away. 

The cracking open of the door told him it was most likely Ray or even Jason coming to look in on him. Without looking up he had no doubt it would be a brother so he was more than surprised when he heard her voice. 

"I'll leave if you want but I would really like to talk." Mandy took a tentative step from the threshold. 

Trent sat forward and turned toward the doorway. "Wasn't expecting company tonight."

"Door was unlocked." Mandy still held the handle in her hand as she shifted backwards. "But I can go."

"Come inside." Trent stood. "It became habit not to lock it." Her raised eyebrows asked the question her lips had stilled. "Brock shows up here when he's having a bad time. Guess I didn't want him to find a locked door."

"You're a good friend." She shut the door behind her. "He's in the truck in your driveway."

"He that pissed?" Trent glanced out the front window. 

"I told him I wanted to talk to you." Mandy sat in the armchair facing him. 

"Fair enough." Running his hand through his hair he turned more toward her. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Not the person you need to apologize to Mandy." It sounded more harsh than he intended. 

"Yeah, Trent, you are. I didn't think about the ramifications of sending that text to you. I knew you were with him and that's why but it should have been someone else." Her eyes held his. "I know you expect me to apologize for going and it might piss you off but I don't regret leaving. I needed to go, to figure it out."

"And next time? Next time I get to pick up the pieces again? Mandy I get that you care about him but he loves you and it isn't fair." He lowered his head as the words left his mouth. 

"But it's fair for Naima. It was fair to Alana?" There was a bitter taste in her words. "Was it fair to your two ex-wives?"

"You're right. It wasn't fair but when we leave our loved ones aren't being shot at and he will be when you go. So while he's worried about you I'll be the one trying to keep his blood inside him. Hell maybe it will be Vic breaking his damn ribs again, who knows maybe next time it will be Clay, or Sonny. The point is his head won't be where it needs to be and that's not fair."

She lowered her voice. "Who are you the most mad at? Him for going down or yourself for not getting there before Vic?" She could feel tension is the room with every heartbeat. 

"Mandy you're right... I'm mad. I'm mad at him and Vic and you and you're right I'm mostly mad at myself." Trent lowered his head into his hands. 

"Trent, I quit my job. You said I care about him but he loves me... I love him too. Didn't really think I'd be telling you that before him but it's the truth." Her cheeks flushed but with his head lowered he didn't see. 

"You quit?" Slowly he looked up to meet her eyes. 

"I did. I guess when I found myself daydreaming of him instead of listening to the HVT I was sitting with it became an issue I couldn't ignore anymore." The slow disapproving shake of his head almost made her laugh. 

"I'm sorry. I know you loved your job." 

"Trent are you okay?" The dissipation of his anger left him looking tired, sad, and broken. 

"I'm not sure." Trent stood and took two steps toward the door before turning back. "Did he bring pie?"


End file.
